Monday, May 30, 2011

In honor of Kaia's birthday

Kaia & Daddy, one week post-op.
My baby girl's 2nd birthday is today. She's celebrating in heaven. I ask that any of you who feel generosity in your hearts, please donate what you would have paid for a gift for her, to the Children's Heart Foundation's Heart Walk in September. I've set up a team and have a donation goal of $2000. We are already at $640! Over 25% there! Even $5 will help. If you feel the movement in your heart, please donate by clicking RIGHT HERE IN THE CAPITALIZED TYPE. When you get to the page, please click either "general team donation" or "stephanie urban" to make your donation. Again, any little bit helps find the cause and cure for these little hearts. There is VERY LITTLE funding to find the cause of CHDs. The American Heart Association, unfortunately doesn't help fund this much. It's our job to step in where the medical industry fails, and find the answers to fix this ongoing issue. One in 100 babies is born with a heart defect, and that number keeps growing. My baby's was due to taking antibiotics in my first trimester. The next baby could be your baby. Let's join together and take the steps to make sure this never happens to another family, down the line.

One love,
Stephanie Urban & Family

Happy birthday baby girl

Dear Kaia,
I miss you! I love you! I want to make those things clear. Papa and I just laid in bed at 9:16 and remembered the moment when you entered our lives. We were so scared, but had no idea the real fear was to come when your heart started to stop. Now it's two years later, and look how much you've grown us! Papa, brother Finny and I are going to the beach today to celebrate you, as a family. You've given us, us. We're a close-knit family of 4 with so much love because of you. I hope to see you there at the beach. I got you cupcakes and pink candles. Are you able to have one? I'll save you the pink cupcake. I cried picking out the candles. How many people have to buy candles for their child's birthday, when their child isn't on earth with them? It breaks my heart that I cannot hug you. It hurts bad. I know you are okay and you are free and happy and that your work here was done. But I will never stop being selfish about wanting you here. I will always miss you. As your mother, you, my baby, will always come first. You are the head of this family, and your little brother is your right hand man. He's kind of taken over the house right now. He kissed your picture this morning when we said happy birthday to you. He's such a sweet soul, and I know you know that. I see him looking at you and laughing. You're a good big sister. Today is your day. Nobody can steal that from you. Do what you please. And if what you please is to visit mommy and family today, then we would love to see you. All my love and adoration and thanks....from the depths of my ever growing heart.

Love, mommy

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Look at this amazing shot my friend Shannon Miller got of my two main men. She's incredible! Check her out at She also did the shots from Finn's first photoshoot.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Finn is 9 months!

What fun. Nobody told me it would be this fun to be a parent. Holy moly. So, Finn is crawling like a champ. He's now added cruising to his repertoire. In seconds he's off and pulling himself up on tables and chairs and plants (to my misfortune). He stands well but still has to hold on with at least one hand. Walking is just around the corner. Changing a diaper is next to impossible. This is what I get on the changing table the second I put him down.
Mommy, I'm an acrobat.

He's a very social little dude. He always lunges after his friends and tries to poke their eyes out and pet their heads.
Sweet Rei Rei. I will trick you into liking me by petting your head. And then....

And then I poke your eye out!
We spent last weekend in Cleveland Heights at the Hessler Street Fair. I had a booth there for Little Lion Designs. It was a ton of work to prep for, and we were there from 8am till 10pm both days. Poor Finn went to bed so so late, but he didn't seem to notice. He had a blast. He even played his little bongo (that daddy got him at Christmas) in the drum circle with all the drummers. Here's a pic after he was finished drumming and decided to sit on the sidelines with a ball.

So, he had a blast with all the nice hippies at Hessler! He had his first wave there. I've been trying to teach him to wave for some time now, and he never got it. Then this really sweet old man came to my booth and waved at Finn, and Finn waved back like he'd been doing it forever. Sigh...
Lastly, He LOVES to give high fives. He now throws the ball back to you and loves to play catch!
All he likes to say these days is his Brrrsss brrrrrssss. If you don't know what that is, here's the video.
That's all for this month. It's been the most fun month yet! We wish you all peace and love and serenity in your lives. We are humbled by the blessings in ours.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Happy (belated) Mother's Day!

My weekend started on Friday, when my amazingly awesome stepmom drove here from PA just to spend a few hours with me and Finn. It was such a nice surprise to have her come. She's been such a huge support in my life, and it was so nice to spend part of Mother's Day weekend with her.

Last Mother's Day was hard for me because it was my first Mother's Day, only I didn't have my daughter here on earth. I also didn't get to share the day or any part of it with my stepmom or my real mom, needless to say. I was pretty bummed out the entire day. Of course, this mother's day wasn't short on tears either. I think I might always cry on this day. There will never be a day in the life I have left where I feel complete because such a huge part of me is not here. But making the best of what's left of me, and the new parts that are growing (hi Finn!) is what it's all about now. And let me tell you, even with the huge hole in our lives, we still have such an abundance of smiles, laughter and great times.

After losing Kaia, I kept thinking "how will I ever laugh again?". It seemed impossible. But Finn makes it easy to laugh. And my loving husband is amazing and gets more incredible every day. I couldn't feel more blessed, and I couldn't be in a better place that I am now. And tomorrow, I hope to say the same thing.

Sunday started with flowers, and Eric made me breakfast in bed. He then took me and Finn to the Metroparks for a picnic. The grass hasn't been mowed yet. So, it was tall and full of dandelions. It was beautiful! Got some great pics of Finn.

Dandelion, dandylion, you're so dandy!

Can I play with these, Mom?

Must. Have. Dandelion. Roar!

Super chubbalicious and squishalicious!

Darn grass poked me in the eye. I shall pull you now.

Oh. You. Smell. So. Gooooooooooooooood.

Lovin' mother earth.

I'm off to explore through the grass jungle!

Mama and Finn, sittin' in a tree....
After our picnic, we went out for sushi. Then it was bedtime for the Finn and relaxation time for mama. Eric did everything for me that day. I was in heaven. Thank you, my family, for making me such a happy mom. And thank you, Finn and Kaia, for making me a great mom, too. You kids are my everything.... with a papa to boot.....

Happy Mom's Day to all of you amazing mommies!