Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy birthday baby girl

Dear Kaia,
I miss you! I love you! I want to make those things clear. Papa and I just laid in bed at 9:16 and remembered the moment when you entered our lives. We were so scared, but had no idea the real fear was to come when your heart started to stop. Now it's two years later, and look how much you've grown us! Papa, brother Finny and I are going to the beach today to celebrate you, as a family. You've given us, us. We're a close-knit family of 4 with so much love because of you. I hope to see you there at the beach. I got you cupcakes and pink candles. Are you able to have one? I'll save you the pink cupcake. I cried picking out the candles. How many people have to buy candles for their child's birthday, when their child isn't on earth with them? It breaks my heart that I cannot hug you. It hurts bad. I know you are okay and you are free and happy and that your work here was done. But I will never stop being selfish about wanting you here. I will always miss you. As your mother, you, my baby, will always come first. You are the head of this family, and your little brother is your right hand man. He's kind of taken over the house right now. He kissed your picture this morning when we said happy birthday to you. He's such a sweet soul, and I know you know that. I see him looking at you and laughing. You're a good big sister. Today is your day. Nobody can steal that from you. Do what you please. And if what you please is to visit mommy and family today, then we would love to see you. All my love and adoration and thanks....from the depths of my ever growing heart.

Love, mommy
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