sleepy gal!

Look at this kid.


She's been like this all day. Sleeping away! Finally. She was awake for like 24 hours straight. Eric was up with her all night until about 6:30 am, when his body got too tired to watch over her anymore. She was up the entire time.

Let me just tell you a little something about miss Kaia. We took our nightly walk outside for about an hour (something i like to do to keep me sane through this) and came back to our little girl watching "madagascar".
Look at this:



I clearly disapprove. But....


Now, she wasn't just watching the movie, she was TOTALLY ENTHRALLED with it. Like.....staring intently and watching every move the animals made. the nurse put it on for her (there goes my "no tv" rule, but rules go out the window when necessary, as moms know) and she LOVED it. I'm sure she's not a tv addict or anything, but she was definitely entertained. How entertained? Well, I actually thought that she might have brain damage because i couldn't get her to look away. All i could think was "is this autism?". But, she just liked it. I put my head in front of the tv so she couldn't see and she immediately started crying. But, we turned the tv so she couldn't see it and got her attention on us again. She was a super happy child last night. It was so good to see! It made me feel great and more positive.

Now for more good news: her lung is open again. I am not getting my hopes up this time, as it's happened before. But, she seems much happier which tells me she's feeling better inside, which tells me that things inside are getting better. And here's more good news, they think she's coming off the breathing tube again tomorrow. I'm very excited for this and very scared at the same time. I mean, i hate her on it. BUT, it does protect her airway and keeps her from aspirating again and potentially having an arrest again. She can't live on it forever though, so we just have to have faith in her to be able to do this and not relapse! Please put the energy and focus on this over the next few days! We feel it over here! I promise you! And I can't wait to introduce everyone to the fruit of all of their prayers and positive energy. she's a beautiful little peach.

There's no more updates for today. But I do want to share the cutest thing ever. Kaia LOVES to suck, but she can't fit a pacifier into her mouth with the breathing tube in. So, we put it at her lips and she licks it like a puppy. It's so adorable. And, lately, I've been scrubbing my finger and letting her suck on it. She LOVES it. She stares at me and stares at me the whole time as she sucks on it. It's as close as I can come to breastfeeding. I have to say that I've heard many moms complain about breastfeeding and the time it takes and all that. But I wish those women knew how lucky they are to have a choice! I produce mass amounts of milk and have nobody to feed it to. Well...she gets it but at 7ml/hour. I will be dumping gallons of it down the drain unless they take my donation (yes, you can donate breastmilk). Anyway, back to the subject. Kaia loves to suck on my finger and the look she gives me melts me and makes me realize that, though our bonding might be unconventional, it is still there. It is what I live for. It's the most important thing in the world to me. And I thank her for allowing those precious moments with me when all else around her is so irritating, stressful and painful. Here's a pic of her sucking my finger (she has a rash from the arrest on sunday night...ignore it. she's less puffy, rashless and she pulled that IV out of her neck cuz she hated it. so, she looks better now, but the pic is still adorable).