kitty kitty needs a home

There used to be a girl that lived below us that had this sweet female indoor/outdoor cat. A few weeks after she moved, the cat came back here and lives outside our house, crying to get back in. She must have not liked her new home and traveled back to her old one here. We called the girl that owned her, but she never answered or got back to us. So, this cat is now homeless. I've been trying to feed her when she comes around, which is about once a day. But she really needs a home that she can come inside. We'd take her in if we didn't already have two male cats. She's gorgeous with long dark hair. She's very good with people and loves loves loves to be rubbed. If anyone knows anyone interested in her, please let me know. I really want her to find a home before winter comes. She's pretty skinny, even though I feed her. But I'm guessing she had no food the whole time we were on vacation. I'm trying to fatten her up to survive winter, but I would like to find a place for her before then. Please help. Thank you!

buyer beware!

a bad pic of the tear and one of several stains:

I would like to ward everyone off from shopping at Blaine Ashley LLC. I ordered two sizes of the same wedding dress from there on a thursday and paid extra for two day air. The dresses never came. After several emails requesting shipping information and a tracking number, she never sent me anything but did drain my account. To pull her heartsrings, I told her about Kaia and our wedding and that was why i needed the dresses. She said she would ship a third dress overnight. I got it and it was stained and torn. She didn't charge me for that third dress, but she used it as "proof that she sent me two dresses". Now I have no dress and am out $352. I tried to file a dispute with paypal, but they "have proof that she shipped me my order". It's so ridiculous. Anyway, please don't shop there. I have filed with the BBB and with an internet crime organization. I'm not going to dwell on it, but here is an open letter to that small little company. It's got a bit of drama to it.....

Dear shopblaineashley.com store,
I have fallen into your web and have been totally taken advantage of by you. You ripped me off of $352 for no reason other than greed. I figured I would give you a little insight about what I've been through this year to show you how evil you truly are. I was due May 19th with our first child. We thought she was healthy and fine. Day three in the hospital, she started having trouble breathing. They rushed her to rainbow babies in cleveland. She was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart. She had open heart surgery on my birthday, June 9th. That same day, my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 non-hodgekins lymphoma and had to start chemo almost immediately. My daughter and my mother were in the fight for their lives. For 34 days, my husband and I lived at the hospital. We slept on a single couch together the entire time. After 3 arrests, several procedures and several weeks post op, my daughter looked at me, started panting and crying and passed on. There is nothing more painful in all the world as losing a child. To top it off, I'm now still facing losing my mother. The only light in the tunnel was our marriage. After spending so long in a hospital, we needed to get away. My father gave us the money to do so, because we have literally thousands of dollars in medical bills. Kaia came close to totaling 2 million at the hospital. The wedding dress I really wanted was $600, but we couldn't afford it, so, I came to blaine, found this dress and a 30% off coupon and thought I had it made. the dresses never showed up. You acknowledged it to me, knowing that paypal can't use emails as evidence and sent me the "last dress you had" which I'm guessing was yours and you took it from your closet after wearing it several times and sent it to me. You never refunded me the money for the dresses like you said you would. You used that one dress shipment as "proof that you sent me two dresses". When, if i had two dresses, I'd certainly send one back because i would never need two sizes of the same dress. Instead of doing the right thing, you chose to cheat someone. You chose to cheat someone who's had the worst year a human can have. You chose to show me exactly how careless and evil a human can be. You are the epitomy of all that is wrong with this world. I believe in love and caring. I believe in human spirit and helping others. You might think that you have won. But you have not. At the end of the day, you have to live with the guilt of knowing what you did to someone who was so not deserving of your evil. If you have zero heart and an inability to feel guilt, then I do believe in karma's ability to right what is wrong. I believe in the bible and that you get what you give, ten-fold. In the end, you may have gained $352. BUT, I believe your business will lose that times 10 in the future to teach you a lesson. I certainly will never shop there again. The thousands of people I know will never. I will make sure of that. That probably means nothing to you, but I also have reported you to several agencies who are undergoing investigations on you. You could have been fair and done the right thing. But you chose your path. No matter what happens, I rest assured knowing that I am so much of a better person than you. I will never think of you nor be haunted by you. I hope my baby girl haunts you. You took the only light we had in our dark tunnel and crushed it. That is the most hideous thing a human can do. I will make sure the world knows.

Thank you,
Stephanie

wifey

Trunk Bay lifeguard station and Eric:


I'm a wife now. yay! We had a beautiful trip the the USVI. I have to say that st. johns is one of the coolest and most amazing places in the world. As 75% national park, it is kept very pristine and clean. The beaches were amazing there, boasting fine white sand and pool-like turquoise waters. Our favorite was honeymoon beach.


After the wedding with the fabulous Anne Marie Porter, Eric surprised me with a private catamaran sail through the islands. The boat picked us up on Cinnamon Bay beach and we sailed through the BVI and several uninhabited islands of the USVI. Our captain brought us to Waterlemon Cay, where we hopped off the boat and snorkeled around the little island. We swam up onto the island and left Kaia a message in the sand.

When we swam back to the boat, he had munchies and wine and beer for us, and we watched the sunset as we sailed back to our wedding beach. Amazing. Thank you, Eric!

I got over 130 bug bites, which made me a horrid hideous pussy mess for the next several days. That's about the only negative of the trip. We visited 8 different beaches but saw dozens more from the boats or driving. Coki beach was our favorite on St Thomas. It had a real Jamaican vibe with little hut bars all along the beach and some seriously good reggae booming. We ordered buckets of red stripe, burned the hell out of our skin and snorkeled. A totally awesome experience.

Each beach was very different from the next. From Coki, where there were dozens of locals, to honeymoon, where we were about the only people there, there really was a beach for every mood. Our resort on St Thomas was really nice. We pricelined it and got it for $100 a night. The rooms start at $265/night. We were really patient when checking in and got a huge ground floor room overlooking the ocean and the pool. It was one of only 8 with a private entrance.

So, that is about it in a nutshell. We haven't posted all the pics, but I will do that soon. There is a lot of work we need to do and finish up before I can get to fun things. We spent the entire day yesterday sorting medical bills and paying some of them. It's all really confusing! Anyway, we are married, and you may now call me "urban-i-fied".

Surprise!

So, we've pretty much kept it a secret so far, but Eric and I have decided to tie the knot! We are heading down to the US virgin islands at 4am Monday morning. We'll be staying on St Thomas most of the time, but have a nice beachside cottage on St John's for our wedding night and the following night.

Eric found our minister, who was featured on the travel channel and does these beach weddings for a living. Her name is Anne Marie Porter. We're getting married on Cinnamon Bay on St Johns.
www.cinnamonbay.com
the rest of the time we will be here on st thomas: http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/sttfr-frenchmans-reef-and-morning-star-marriott-beach-resort/

It's insane to think that our daughter gave this opportunity to us. Both Eric and I have been off of work since she was born and have not been able to heal enough yet to go back. So, we thought we should take a nice trip while we had the time off. My Dad and stepmom made sure that we went through with our plans and gave us the best gift of all and took care of the trip for us. We couldn't have done this without them and the additional help from Eric's Grandfather and Mother. Thank you all for helping us with our expenses so that we can call each other "husband and wife". And thank you to everyone who contributed to Kaia's medical expenses. Thank you's are still being written and will be out to all of you soon. :)

Anyway, this might not be the most conventional way to tell everyone of our union. BUT, we are not conventional people. We were a very close couple before Kaia was born. And she brought us even closer. I believe that being able to share the same last name as her and the man who gave her to me will help in our healing process. We love you and thank you, baby girl. Look at all you've done. I am so proud of you.

We will share pics and video (thanks to Dad n Jack again) with everyone when we return. In the meantime, we'll work on child #2. (tmi, i know...)

kisses and hugs to you all!
love,
Steph & Eric

videos

Lots of videos of our little angel at youtube.com
search "kaia belle" and the first video is of her. then click on that video and the rest of them should be on the right side of that page.
here are some, but please go to youtube to see them larger and to see the whole batch. We took them on our camera, so some are very dark. I wish we would have had a real video camera on her all the time so we had more....but.....:




Before the surgery:

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who came to show us your support on Tuesday. I know there were a lot of people that couldn't make it, and we thank you too. It's overwhelming the numbers of people that knew and loved our baby girl. She changed so many lives and inspired so many others. We are just so so proud of her. Her 34 day life may have been short, but it was definitely not small. She was so huge. She was bigger than life. She did more with those days than most people do in a lifetime. We know she had a purpose. We know she still does have a purpose. We thank you for seeing her purpose and remembering the life lessons that she taught all of us.

I started this blog for our FAMILY....so those near and far could follow our children as they grow. Kaia was, is and will always be that first child. But she will not be the last. Please feel free to continue following the story of our family as we grow in numbers, strength and spirituality. We have been so honored to have you all be such a huge part of Kaia's existence. We hope that you will continue to follow our story, as she will always be one of the biggest parts of it.

We love you all & thank you for what you gave us. We hope the strength she showed stays with all of you, as it will for us. May your love light be a little brighter, too.

Love,
Steph, Eric & Kaia

Visiting hours

Eric, Kaia and I would like to invite everyone to come meet our gorgeous little angel this coming Tuesday, July 7th from 4-7 at McGorray Hanna Funeral Home in Lakewood for visiting hours. In lieu of a funeral, we will be having a memorial service for her, after she is cremated. Details of that are still being determined. For now, we just want everyone to meet her before we send her off to God.

Kaia, our angel

After she passed...



I haven't been able to write this blog. I wanted her online story to end with the last happy day that Kaia had in her short life. I don't want to talk about her downward slide after tuesday. I will skip Wednesday and go straight to Thursday, the last day of her life. Kaia slept the entire day. Dad and I knew something was wrong. She was very lethargic and bobbed her head with every breath, a sign of labored breathing. We pointed it out to the doctors, and they upped her heart medication. Kaia went back to sleep. We had family at the hospital and went to the cafe while she was sleeping. I came back to her room in the PICU alone. She was still sleeping. I whispered "hi my pretty girl", and she immediately woke up. So, I sat next to her and stared at her and she started panting. She stared at me and wouldn't look away and was breathing really heavily. The nurse said she was just fussing. Kaia never fussed with her eyes wide open before. I knew she couldn't breath. I heard a gag and a choke and I grabbed the nurse. The nurse looked at her SATS on the screen and started pushing panic buttons. I turned around to see her heart rate drop to almost nothing. They immediately started cpr. The doctor told me they had to put the breathing tube back in and asked us to step away but to kiss her and say goodbye first. They had her stabalized, so we had no idea we were saying goodbye for good. But Kaia knew. She did not want to be on a ventilator again, and she did what she had to do to stay off of it. I kissed her little skinny arm, which was pale white from lack of profusion, and I said "I love you baby". She was looking at me the entire time. I stared at her as I backed out of the room and she never took her eyes off of me. We were escorted to, what we now know, is the death waiting room. I think she must have passed and just come with us to that room. She wanted out of there so bad.

We sat in that waiting room for so long, and I could hear the flatline alarm going off the entire time we were in there. I knew Kaia was in the waiting room with us and not in her body anymore. I kept telling Eric that she died, and he didn't believe it. I was shaking from head to toe. When we saw the surgeon coming toward us, we knew. They took us back in the room, and I held her. I held her good and strong and hard for 2 hours. I never got to hold her and walk around. I'd never gotten to put her head up on my shoulder. I did all the things I always wanted to do with her. I gave her a bath. I put her in some clothes. She had never gotten to wear any clothes her whole life. Her chyle fluid was leaking out of her abdomen, but I didn't care. It got all over me. All I wanted to do was go back to the time when she was happy....before we tortured her body....and just let her go naturally. I feel we were so selfish to keep her alive by the means that we did. We just wanted her to have a chance. We wanted her to live and love. I couldn't wait to bring her home and retrain her brain to know that people aren't bad. Kaia didn't like people much after her surgery. Anytime anyone other than her dad and I touched her, she would cry. She hated all the doctors and nurses. She knew they just hurt her over and over again. She looked to us to save her, and we couldn't. I would give anything to take her pain....to trade places. It seems so pointless to live and love and smile when she can't. But we are trying, because we need to celebrate her and not let this destroy us. She wouldn't want that.

When we got home from the hospital, we were devastated. I didn't want to sleep because I was so afraid of waking up. But we were so sleep deprived that eventually it came...for a few hours. At 9:16 in the morning, my phone started vibrating and vibrating, over and over and over. It was a constant vibration that i'd never seen before. I looked at my phone and it said "new text message" then "new voicemail" then "missed call" then "new text message"....over and over and over again. It was all the people that contacted me during the night....but they never came through until, all at once, at 9:16 in the morning, they all came through. Kaia was born at 9:16 in the morning. She knew that mommy and daddy stayed up night after night to watch over her and we needed our sleep. I believe that she held all of my phone calls, texts, etc so that we could sleep. She delivered them all at 9:16 to tell us that she did come home with us. She is here. It pisses me off that she is taking care of us after all she's been through. But she knew that mommies and daddies need taken care of too.

We are devastated. We miss her. We are angry at the hospital. We are still so in love with her. We see her face and hear her voice and still hear the hospital beeps of IVs and alarms. We question ever making her go through surgery in the first place. We just want her to be happy and healthy and thriving. Her little earth body couldn't do that for her. I pray that all who have passed before her will take care of her. Uncle Rick, please take her fishing. Great Grandma DeRubba, please make her some pasta and teach her some italian. Kay, please hold her for me. She loved to be held. Great Grandma Sue, please help raise her in love. Jim, please protect her and keep her around so we can meet up with her. She has now made me not fear death. I welcome the time when I can be with her again.

Kaia, my darling little lion bean burrito, you have taught mommy and daddy what love is. We never knew the extent of love until you. You taught us how to love each other too. You have made us better people. You have changed the people that we were, forever. Every little and big thing that you were, is in us. We promise to give you brothers and sisters. Because of you, we are a family. We owe you the world for what you gave us. I hope we can repay you, somehow.

All our oceans and oceans of love to you, my pretty girl.
Love, mommy and daddy

off the vent!

here's Kaia this morning when I woke up (nurse Jackie put the cute hat that auntie Jen bought on her head)


And here's Kaia now! She's catchin' flies.

Oh, she's a happy girl with no tube down her throat! We had a giggling session. She smiled and smiled!




What a great day! I mean, she woke up.....wait....I woke up this morning to Kaia still sleeping. That NEVER happens. Kaia doesn't sleep much. But she was zonked, and she slept almost the whole day! I think she was saving the energy so she could successfully come off of the vent. Let me say it again, she NEVER sleeps and she slept. It allowed me time to go get a shower, then the tests started. We had a nice break when Kate came to visit. She brought a bag of goodies from whole foods, and I think that was the healthiest food I've/we've eaten in a month. Thank you Kate! What a great surprise. The food was delicious! We got to visit for about 10 minutes or so before the next test started. Kaia had a few exams/ultrasounds/cameras in her lungs...to see if her lung function would support her. She passed all of them, so out came the tube. She's now 6 hours extubated and is still doing well. She's got a lot of secretions that need to be suctioned until she learns to cough. But for a girl who's been intubated most of her life, she's doing really well. Let's all hope and pray that her feeds stay in her belly and don't get thrown up and seep into her lungs again. she threw up last night when her tube was still in, so we now have her on zantac for her reflux issues, so hopefully she will keep it down. Unfortunately, we can't explore the reasons for her reflux because there's only one formula that she can have right now due to her chyle issue. So, we can't change her diet and eliminate dairy to cure it or anything. Once this chyle stops, she can go back to breastmilk. We were told 3 months today. I believe she will have the chest tube in for most of that time too, so she can drain that fluid, since it almost drowned her during her last extubation.

So, all in all, it's been a great day! What a great change of emotion. I went from crying because I thought we would lose her, to crying because I was so excited that she seems to have improved. I don't think we'll sleep much tonight, as we'll be sleeping with no earplugs so we can hear her cough or choke or whatever on her feeds, if she does spit them up. Getting through tonight will be nerve wracking, but we definitely both felt that today was the right day to extubate her, and I have faith that she will be okay. She told me to tell you all that she loves you and owes all of her success to God and you all!

xoxo!

family visit

Sunday was a special day for Kaia. Her Great Grandmother and Great Aunt Jodi came out to visit her, along with Pap and Gram. Kaia was still on the ventilator, which wasn't ideal for meeting a Great Grandma who's been wanting to get her hands on a great grand baby for a long long time, but at least they got to meet! Our little girl was a bit swollen still and didn't look herself, but everyone still said she was beautiful. We had a nice visit. Aunt Jodi and I finished off almost a whole big bag of popcorn (thanks for all the snacks Jackie!). Yum. Then we went to little italy (a hop away from the hospital) for a nice lunch. It was really nice having visitors! Next time, Kaia will be able to be held. Horray! Anyway, I had a couple of pictures from the day and wanted to post them. Here they are! Look at Kaia stare at her Great Aunt Jodi. So cute.

Kaia and Gram

Kaia with Great Gram

4 generations of Parker