Birthdays....

June 9, 2009....minutes before they took her to open heart surgery.

June 9, 2009....minutes before they took her to open heart surgery.

Two years ago, right now, I was saying goodbye to my little girl. She was on her way to open heart surgery. Little did i know the surgeon I trusted her life with would botch the surgery and leave her lifeless 3 weeks later. My birthday will always be a reminder to hold those I love, near and dear. I miss you, my girl.

I woke up this morning to Finn crying. He couldn't sleep. We both are moody today....and rightfully so. I'm not sure June 9th is such a great day to be born. I used to love my birthday. But now.... Obviously there are issues to work through. Mom, if you're out there and reading this, it'd be really nice to get  "happy birthday" from you this year. It would really mean so much. I can't imagine not doing everything possible to be with my children. I'm not sorry that that is the way I feel. I love you. I love my little girl. I love my family. And I just don't love this day.

Happy raw and emotional birthday to myself. Self pity is allowed on this day for one hour and then NO MORE! :)