A Different Child

A friend of mine sent this poem to me today. She also lost her baby to a CHD and knows the pain well (we love you Hailey & Kaia!). I told her that very often I find myself crying...more often now than a few months ago. As I feel this baby kick, I remember her. I miss her. The feelings flood back. The horror, the joy, the sadness...they come in great detail. They mix with the great joy of what's to come in this next child. And we know that this baby will know his/her big sister and love who she was and is in our lives.

"A Different Child"
by Pandora MacMillian

People notice
There's a special glow around you.... See More
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."